Let’s face it. When we post things on Facebook, we want likes. Why is this? Because it is a positive feeling when we gain any kind of approval or validation from others. Why am I writing about this? Because I have been trying to wrap my head around why this is so important to me. I have been trying to wrap my head around why, when I don’t receive the likes, this makes me feel like I am a failure of sorts. Does this make sense? Actually, no. When I look at the bigger picture of my life, I am comforted knowing that everything is going in the right direction. My world is not lacking, by any means. I have everything I could want or need, and there are some very exciting things happening in my world now also (which I will unveil in time). So why then, when I have every reason to be happy, do I lack happiness when I don’t get the validation or approval that I so desire?
The silly thing is, I am not receiving any particular dislikes from people, I actually have no evidence that:
a) I am not enough or
b) that I am not OK.
But when people aren’t affirming of the things in my life that are important to me, how can I stop feeling so deficient and inadequate? Why is it so important to get approval? Does it affect how I live my life, and get on with my day? When I look back at the end of my life, will I think about how much I was liked and approved of? How popular I was? I guarantee the answer to this would be no. Instead, I am going to think of the beautiful, special and wonderful parts to living this life… whether that be, relationships or friendships, whether that be my own courage and unique spirit even through tough times, or whether that be adventures and memories. It would be more about the quality of my life, not about the quantity of friends or ‘likes’ on Facebook. If a friend was going through, what I am going through currently with this dilemma, what would I tell them?
That it does not matter one iota what other people think of you…The only person you should seek validation from is yourself… The only person that needs to tell you that you are worthy and worthwhile, is you. And most importantly, the only person you should try to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. Another thing to remember is that other people’s thoughts and judgments are fleeting. Sometimes people will think positive things about you and your life, other times they may be on the negative side. But these thoughts are like a water current, they ebb, and they flow. And it’s not your concern, it’s actually none of your business. If I could be granted one magic wish today, I feel right now, at this second, that I would simply wish for an attitude where other people’s judgements and thoughts about me, do not matter one bit. I would love to look at my life square in the eye and say, “I just don’t care what other people think, or whether they approve of me or not”.
I feel like I may have written about this whole thing before, and I remember now what I have said in the past. All I have ever been concerned about, in moving forward in my life, is:
a) Am I trying my best to be better than the person that I was yesterday?
b) Am I doing myself proud today, and every day?
I have recently lost sight of this. The answer of course to those questions are:
- Yes. Always.
- Yes. Always.
And this is all that should matter.
Watch this space, Great things are happening…
And I am happy no matter what, because I am enough.
You too, are 100% enough.
Love Kate xxx
Kate's Niche 