I had a thought the other day. Do we as human beings need external validation or approval from others, in order to feel a positive sense of self-worth? Can we feel empowered and confident without this validation or approval? I feel like if we need these things to be OK, this is going to end badly. We need to feel good about ourselves despite what others may think of us. We need to feel empowered by our own innate sense of value and particularly when we are living in alignment with our personal values. Living by our values and being the sort of person, we want to be, is all that matters – in terms of self-worth. If you can go to bed each night, feeling good about yourself – based on how you live your life, every day… then you can sleep soundly.
I really have been reflecting on this concept, in context of my own life, and how this plays out every day for me. It is very easy to judge me, with my issues around body image and my issues with mental wellbeing, and I don’t always get the validation or approval from others that I would like. But at the end of the day, this shouldn’t matter. Constantly thinking about other people’s thoughts and/or impressions of me, is not going to be something that I engage in, moving forward. I need to unburden myself of other people’s perceptions – I need to put down that heavy load. It is killing me, one day, one moment at a time.
I am extremely proud of who I am, and the way I live my life. Even if others don’t think so. Despite consistent difficulties, I show up, every day; I try to be caring, compassionate and fun to be around. I think of myself as being a loyal and kind friend, so when others don’t show me that same sense of loyalty, I feel disappointed and hurt. However, sometimes you simply get to realise who your true friends really are. I am so incredibly blessed, to have some amazing people in my life, who truly have my back and who are on my side. They understand that despite the consistent challenges, I am trying my best, and I am always trying to kick goals in my life. They understand what is important to me, and they are happy for me when I kick those important goals.
So, I think it’s important for me to remember that I have a little cheer-squad behind me… friends and family that may not understand me completely but love me anyway. But really, at the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter how other people perceive me or what they think about me… I need to remember that my self-worth does not depend on other people’s ability to see my worth.
I want others who are reading this blog, to think about how much they put their own self-worth in other people’s hands. Particularly when we look at social media, and particularly when we are perhaps, comparing yourself with other people who may be at different stages of their life journey. We are all unique, we are all different. But we are all special, and worthy of love and good things. But not only worthy of love from other people in our lives, but worthy of SELF-LOVE. It’s time to put external validation aside, and feel good about ourselves because we innately deserve this 100% of the time. Think about what you would tell a friend in your situation. Would you encourage them to feel good about themselves despite other people’s petty or harsh judgments? Of course we would…. So, lets do this for ourselves as well.
People’s judgements and thoughts come and go; they ebb and flow. But our own sense of self-worth does not. Our own sense of self-worth should always be there – despite others thoughts or judgements. Be the kind of person you want to be. This is paramount.
Kate's Niche 