Kate's Niche

I could easily freak out right now. I could easily get down right now.

Things are far from ideal. They are far from where I want them to be.

But maybe in order to create the life I want… I need to rebuild it from the inside out.

Maybe it starts with getting to know myself on a deeper level.

Maybe it starts by re-discovering self-love and self-compassion.

Maybe it starts by becoming my own best friend.

Maybe it starts by embracing all that I am….

Maybe it’s a matter of starting over in the best possible way.

This isn’t necessarily the easy way of doing things.

It would be so much easier to run from myself and just dim whatever it is that I’m feeling deep inside.

It would be easier to distract myself with people, places, food and alcohol – which is what I’m so used to doing.

But maybe if I want to do things the right way this time and rebuild my whole life, I have to do things in a way I’ve never done before.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done before”.

Spending all this time by myself is challenging, but its forcing me to get re-acquainted with the little girl inside me who has needed attention and deep love, for so long… I have neglected her… up until this point.

Spending all this time with myself and spending so much time in self-reflection is oddly unsettling, but by the same token, I know it’s the only way forward…if I want to do things right…

I have faith that the right things are ahead of me. And eventually, change will occur, and a new exciting phase of life will be born. Eventually, I’ll find what I’m looking for.

But for now, I have to acknowledge the importance of this season of my life and be grateful as this is a time for renewal. I also need to look after that little girl, I have to love her and get to know her.

And really trust that this season of my life won’t last forever.

There is something I need to learn…. And universe, I’m so open to the lesson.

Love Kate xx

 

 

In my last blog I was feeling very disheartened with life. I knew I was going through a process of change. I was moving out of one phase of my life, into another, and it was difficult. It was difficult mainly because I couldn’t see clearly what was ahead. I knew I wanted to step back from certain people and certain situations, and I knew I wanted to simplify; but I didn’t know what that was going to look like. I worked hard on feeling a sense of gratitude and I was trying to be really positive; but I was left feeling a little lost. I wanted to attract some more GOOD into my life… some beautiful new avenues to go down… but again I was simply trusting and hoping for the best as it was yet to manifest.

Before I knew it though, life had delivered up something brand new and simply scrumptious. I am now going on a new journey, to create a business with one of my good friends. I am now a part of a community where I feel like there is growth and learning available at every turn. I feel inspired and excited about what is to come. My life has definitely been simplified, but at the same time it feels richer and deliciously delectable. Sure, I still have awesome goals to achieve, I have tangible things in my life that I am working towards… but I’m very happy simply being on the journey. I no longer feel a sense of urgency. I feel like I can just enjoy this time for what it is. A time of growth and a time for the birth of new exciting things.

Within the blink of the eye, I have found more happiness, and more self-confidence. I have found more self-love and it is a beautiful place to be. And a side-effect of all that has changed recently, is that I can now speak publicly without needing notes. This may sound strange to some, but I’ll say it anyway… this is what I have been praying for! And finally, it has come. I cannot tell you how much happiness I get from public speaking. I just didn’t know if I could do it properly… and now I have the confidence to say YES I CAN. And I can’t wait for further opportunities to practice this art form.

The lesson here I suppose is this.  Everything unfolds in divine timing. You will get what you need when you need it. Just when I was losing faith, the universe delivered everything I need to get me through this next phase of my life. And I absolutely trust that this will always be the case. I am going to keep getting goals and I am going to keep dreaming big.  Because I have never trusted the universe as much as I do now. It will deliver, at the right time. I am so incredibly grateful for the birth of this new stage of my life. I’ve got so much to be excited about, personally and professionally!

I am (even more so) a believer of magic.

Never forget how magical life can be.

If you deeply believe in it, you will experience it too…I promise!

 

Love Kate xxxx

In my last blog I was feeling very disheartened with life. I knew I was going through a process of change. I was moving out of one phase of my life, into another, and it was difficult. It was difficult mainly because I couldn’t see clearly what was ahead. I knew I wanted to step back from certain people and certain situations, and I knew I wanted to simplify; but I didn’t know what that was going to look like. I worked hard on feeling a sense of gratitude and I was trying to be really positive; but I was left feeling a little lost. I wanted to attract some more GOOD into my life… some beautiful new avenues to go down… but again I was simply trusting and hoping for the best as it was yet to manifest.

Before I knew it though, life had delivered up something brand new and simply scrumptious. I am now going on a new journey, to create a business with one of my good friends. I am now a part of a community where I feel like there is growth and learning available at every turn. I feel inspired and excited about what is to come. My life has definitely been simplified, but at the same time it feels richer and deliciously delectable. Sure, I still have awesome goals to achieve, I have tangible things in my life that I am working towards… but I’m very happy simply being on the journey. I no longer feel a sense of urgency. I feel like I can just enjoy this time for what it is. A time of growth and a time for the birth of new exciting things.

Within the blink of the eye, I have found more happiness, and more self-confidence. I have found more self-love and it is a beautiful place to be. And a side-effect of all that has changed recently, is that I can now speak publicly without needing notes. This may sound strange to some, but I’ll say it anyway… this is what I have been praying for! And finally, it has come. I cannot tell you how much happiness I get from public speaking. I just didn’t know if I could do it properly… and now I have the confidence to say YES I CAN. And I can’t wait for further opportunities to practice this art form.

The lesson here I suppose is this.  Everything unfolds in divine timing. You will get what you need when you need it. Just when I was losing faith, the universe delivered everything I need to get me through this next phase of my life. And I absolutely trust that this will always be the case. I am going to keep getting goals and I am going to keep dreaming big.  Because I have never trusted the universe as much as I do now. It will deliver, at the right time. I am so incredibly grateful for the birth of this new stage of my life. I’ve got so much to be excited about, personally and professionally!

I am (even more so) a believer of magic.

Never forget how magical life can be.

If you deeply believe in it, you will experience it too…I promise!

 

Love Kate xxxx

In my last blog I was feeling very disheartened with life. I knew I was going through a process of change. I was moving out of one phase of my life, into another, and it was difficult. It was difficult mainly because I couldn’t see clearly what was ahead. I knew I wanted to step back from certain people and certain situations, and I knew I wanted to simplify; but I didn’t know what that was going to look like. I worked hard on feeling a sense of gratitude and I was trying to be really positive; but I was left feeling a little lost. I wanted to attract some more GOOD into my life… some beautiful new avenues to go down… but again I was simply trusting and hoping for the best as it was yet to manifest.

Before I knew it though, life had delivered up something brand new and simply scrumptious. I am now going on a new journey, to create a business with one of my good friends. I am now a part of a community where I feel like there is growth and learning available at every turn. I feel inspired and excited about what is to come. My life has definitely been simplified, but at the same time it feels richer and deliciously delectable. Sure, I still have awesome goals to achieve, I have tangible things in my life that I am working towards… but I’m very happy simply being on the journey. I no longer feel a sense of urgency. I feel like I can just enjoy this time for what it is. A time of growth and a time for the birth of new exciting things.

Within the blink of the eye, I have found more happiness, and more self-confidence. I have found more self-love and it is a beautiful place to be. And a side-effect of all that has changed recently, is that I can now speak publicly without needing notes. This may sound strange to some, but I’ll say it anyway… this is what I have been praying for! And finally, it has come. I cannot tell you how much happiness I get from public speaking. I just didn’t know if I could do it properly… and now I have the confidence to say YES I CAN. And I can’t wait for further opportunities to practice this art form.

The lesson here I suppose is this.  Everything unfolds in divine timing. You will get what you need when you need it. Just when I was losing faith, the universe delivered everything I need to get me through this next phase of my life. And I absolutely trust that this will always be the case. I am going to keep getting goals and I am going to keep dreaming big.  Because I have never trusted the universe as much as I do now. It will deliver, at the right time. I am so incredibly grateful for the birth of this new stage of my life. I’ve got so much to be excited about, personally and professionally!

I am now (even more so) am a believer of magic..

If you deeply believe in it, you will experience it too…I promise!

Love Kate xxxx

Never would I have imagined the wonderful things that are happening in my life at the moment.

Whilst my life is not perfect in many ways, I am so incredibly blessed for the following reasons.

• I’m lucky enough to work for a wonderful organization, in a role that inspires me on a daily basis.
• I’m lucky enough that the organization is finding a grant to publish my memoir.
• In September I will get the opportunity to be keynote speaker at a mental health awareness event.
• I now have an opportunity to join forces with an equally passionate individual to create the business of our dreams – helping others with mental health issues to transform themselves and their lives.
• I am blessed that I can soon be officially linked to an amazing online community of women who are passionate about manifesting the life of their dreams.
• I am finally studying an energy medicine course through the wonderful Stillpoint Institute, and I am learning from an amazing teacher and life cycle mentor. This means I will be able to begin as a practitioner when the course concludes in July.

Life tends to have different seasons, and this season, for me is all about work and my own personal growth. Whilst I might have struggled with the fact that my life looks a lot different to other people my age, the blessings in my life right now are undeniable. At some point I’m sure the seasons will change, and there may be more of a focus on romantic relationships, and fun or maybe travel.
And when that time comes I will be thrilled. But for now, I need to appreciate this season for what it is. And it is pretty incredible.

I’m going to use this time, to not only grow; but to really learn to love and nurture myself. I am going to use this time to look deeply inside myself, and reflect on where I have been and where I am going.

I’m going to set goals and I’m going to set intentions for the manifestation of the things my life is lacking. But I will trust I will receive these things in divine timing… when the time is right. And In the meantime I will remind myself of the magic and blessings that surround me in this season of my life.

Sometimes life can surprise you.

My life has been difficult of late. Along with a new job, and new living arrangements, my relationships have had to be re-adjusted. I can just feel it, you know? I can feel things changing. I can feel myself changing (and even maturing). I’m getting closer to people whom I wasn’t close to before and moving away from the status quo.

For a little while I think I was resisting this change, but once I started to embrace it, wow, what a difference. I’m starting to see that all the new circumstances and situations in my life, are such blessings. I’m moving towards a life that fits with my true self, and away from a life where I wasn’t really in touch with my true self. Of course, with this kind of change (which is subtle yet extreme at the same time), there are bound to be casualties. There will be some people who fall away. This in itself, can be painful, but this kind of spiritual de-cluttering is so necessary, in order to make room for the new. And I have been attracting new people into my life, not in the ways that I expected necessarily, but in equally weird and wonderful ways… which comes back to me saying that life, can indeed surprise us.

Now that I have begun this new journey of re-connecting with the truth of who I am, and connecting with others that really get me… I’m going to remain very conscious of things that I need to let go of, in order to attract bigger and better things into my world… things that will make the depths of my soul happy and fulfilled. I’m seeing now that change is so needed, when you are on a journey of personal growth. It can be sad saying goodbye to outdated relationships, outdated ideas, and outdated material possessions… and it is important to honor this sadness and acknowledge it.

But then you must let it go. And make room for new blessings.

I am ready for more abundance in my life, so bring it on.

I suddenly get the feeling I’m growing into the person I am meant to be… but with growth, comes change…

And man…. Change can be hard.

All of a sudden everything in my life is so different.

The conversations I’m having with people are different.

The people I seem drawn to are much different

What was important for me before, no longer matters.

People in my life, who have recently played a massive role, seem to be moving in a different direction.

What am I moving towards?

Hopefully, I am moving towards a life where I feel more accepted and valued for who I truly am… and not accepted and valued for who I pretend to be.

Hopefully, I am moving towards a life that honors the wholeness of who I am…. And one that fulfills my inner most hopes and desires.

It’s a time of growth I suppose, a time where I have to re-evaluate everything; and relearn everything.

Change is uncomfortable… because what I am experiencing is new and unfamiliar…

It feels strange and I could easily fall into a mindset of resistance to it.

But I am trying to embrace it. I am trying to see these changes as inherently positive.

Because at the end of the day I am moving away from a life that didn’t entirely fit.

I am so grateful for the people in my life that are coming along this journey with me…. Whilst many have fallen away, there are some that remain true. This is Pure gold.

These true, ‘pure gold’ friendships, make change and growth a bit easier and makes the journey a little less painful.

Many of you know about my history with anorexia, in my early years.
What you might not know about, is why I went down that path – obviously I didn’t know it at the time but after years of growth and learning, it’s very clear to see.

There were several things that prompted me to go down that bleak path, which I won’t go into today.

The one main thing though, that anorexia offered me was protection.

The kind of protection that it offered, was indeed, iron-clad. It was strong and robust.

And it was the only sort of protection I had at that time.

I feel that it is generally our sense of ego that protects us from the chaos of the external world. After all ego refers to someone’s sense of self-esteem and self-importance. Ego allows us to, in a way, fight back or retaliate when someone tries to hurt us or criticize us. We can protect ourselves in this way. Now, I feel I never really developed this sense of ego (or sense of self-esteem) in my childhood years. That meant that if someone was to try and hurt me, or judge me in some way, their criticism (or the arrow – metaphorically speaking) would go straight through my heart and pain me deeply. I was sensitive, almost fatally so.

Anorexia was a way of protecting myself. Anorexia made me feel a sense of numbness to other people’s judgements. I didn’t have to hurt anymore because anorexia became my armor. Anorexia was at that time, my ruler, and I was its faithful servant. It changed my whole world, and all that I cared about before, no longer mattered. All I cared about now, was pleasing her.

When I started to recover from anorexia, I don’t think I really took the necessary steps to build up my self-esteem again (I didn’t really know how). I still remained quite fragile and worried far too much about what other people thought of me. I was somewhat stronger, but not enough. Which meant that when my external world (my life) went pair-shaped several years later, I simply crumbled again. I went back to my ruler and tried to carry on with life as best I could… I never totally let go of anorexia because I still needed it, to a degree. It took many years of learning and growing, a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and a lengthy recovery journey… to find that sense of self-esteem that I had been missing all my life. It happened by default to be honest. It was the outcome of battling stigma, and overcoming stigma. I have learnt, simply not to care about other’s opinions. Now its only my opinion of myself, that really matters. And that is iron-clad now.

I don’t have a huge ego, in fact I am quite humble. But now I can actually love who I am (despite many “imperfections”), and I feel like I’m worthwhile. Also, I have found my voice and I can actually use it.

Never again will I have to go back to the protection that anorexia offers. I am free. And whilst I still battle with negative body image sometimes, I choose healthy ways of dealing with it.

Self-love really does rule all.

Love Kate xx

Slow and steady wins the race.

I’m reading a book at the moment which is all about the secrets to success.

It claims that having talent is not the biggest factor is becoming successful; but that passion and perseverance is absolutely KEY.

This makes me think about my own journey – coming from a place where I was literally a shell of a person, who felt ashamed of her past and anxious about the future; to a place where I am successful in my work pursuits, confident, hopeful and positive about my future, and proud of my battle scars… because my imperfections make me who I am (and I love that person).

Because of my mental health diagnosis, I have had to be extremely resilient to get where I am now… because I’m constantly being challenged. Challenged by having difficult mental health days, challenged by my own vulnerabilities and more than anything…. challenged by stigma – which I come across Every. Single. Day.

Because of my constant challenges, success has taken me a little bit longer to achieve. As many people know, recovery journeys are not linear, they are two steps forward, one step back and sometimes 1 step forward, 3 steps back. This can become very frustrating, and almost gets you to the point sometimes, that you want to give up. This is where perseverance comes in.

I have had to persevere along my chosen path, time and time again. I have had to have downright determination and downright grit. It has taken a lot of courage and a lot of resolve – to be consistently up against other people’s believes about the limits of what I can achieve – to be up against disapproval and judgement from many people in my day to day life. I have learnt not to care about many things that normal people care about. I only care about a few key things.

The first thing I care a lot about, and that keeps me strong and striving forwards – is my own growth and the pursuit of the things that I am passionate about.

The other thing I care about is my health.

As long as I stay healthy, and as long as I am always striving towards my goals and becoming a better, more empowered individual… I am happy and fulfilled.

So, along with passion and perseverance… the reason I am where I am today… is because I have chosen very carefully what I care about – and I have decided, very firmly, what I don’t give a shit about (the main one being other peoples opinions).

So my advice to anyone who may want it… is this.

Make growth and learning your biggest priority – and you will naturally find success in ways you may never have imagined. Equally, make following your passion your biggest priority, and you will find success in ways you have never dreamed of.

But don’t be discouraged by setbacks, and challenges. As long as you learn to be gritty and strong, you will be ok. As long as you choose carefully what you do and don’t care about, you will be fine.

And remember…. Perseverance is everything.

Love Kate xx

Slow and steady wins the race.

I’m reading a book at the moment which is all about the secrets to success.

It claims that having talent is not the biggest factor is becoming successful; but that passion and perseverance is absolutely KEY.

This makes me think about my own journey – coming from a place where I was literally a shell of a person, who felt ashamed of her past and anxious about the future; to a place where I am successful in my work pursuits, confident, hopeful and positive about my future, and proud of my battle scars… because my imperfections make me who I am (and I love that person).

Because of my mental health diagnosis, I have had to be extremely resilient to get where I am now… because I’m constantly being challenged. Challenged by having difficult mental health days, challenged by my own vulnerabilities and more than anything…. challenged by stigma – which I come across Every. Single. Day.

Because of my constant challenges, success has taken me a little bit longer to achieve. As many people know, recovery journeys are not linear, they are two steps forward, one step back and sometimes 1 step forward, 3 steps back. This can become very frustrating, and almost gets you to the point sometimes, that you want to give up. This is where perseverance comes in.

I have had to persevere along my chosen path, time and time again. I have had to have downright determination and downright grit. It has taken a lot of courage and a lot of resolve – to be consistently up against other people’s believes about the limits of what I can achieve – to be up against disapproval and judgement from many people in my day to day life. I have learnt not to care about many things that normal people care about. I only care about a few key things.

The first thing I care a lot about, and that keeps me strong and striving forwards – is my own growth and the pursuit of the things that I am passionate about.

The other thing I care about is my health.

As long as I stay healthy, and as long as I am always striving towards my goals and becoming a better, more empowered individual… I am happy and fulfilled.

So, along with passion and perseverance… the reason I am where I am today… is because I have chosen very carefully what I care about – and I have decided, very firmly, what I don’t give a shit about (the main one being other peoples opinions).

So my advice to anyone who may want it… is this.

Make growth and learning your biggest priority – and you will naturally find success in ways you may never have imagined. Equally, make following your passion your biggest priority, and you will find success in ways you have never dreamed of.

But don’t be discouraged by setbacks, and challenges. As long as you learn to be gritty and strong, you will be ok. As long as you choose carefully what you do and don’t care about, you will be fine.

And remember…. Perseverance is everything.

Love Kate xx