Kate's Niche

I have many tools in my toolbox when it comes to dealing with tough times.

Faith is exceedingly important. Faith is like a life-raft. Without it, it’s much more likely that you will drown in negativity. And drowning in negativity doesn’t help our cause at all. The best thing to do when you go through pain or loss, is to try and focus all your energy on the positive. Because positivity attracts more positivity.

Yes, it is important to let out your feelings, it is important to really feel your feelings. If your feelings are not acknowledged, they will pop up when you least expect it, or seep their way through to affect other parts of your life. But once you have truly felt your feelings, and been through the grieving process, I feel the absolute best thing to do is to pick yourself back up, feel into gratitude, and then surrender. Surrendering means letting go of stress and negative thoughts, and simply trusting in the bigger picture, and having faith that everything happens for a reason.

By surrendering, trusting, and having faith, this allows us to raise our vibration, and then it is much more likely we will start attracting new, positive things into our lives. Allowing us to move on. A great way of mastering this is to feel into what we want to be feeling, during meditation. Also, whilst meditating, try and breathe deeply, and consciously say to yourself… “I surrender to the universe” and “trust and have faith”. Say this as many times as you need to really get those positive vibes, and that feeling of release, and relief. You will feel lighter.

And then you can start identifying what emotions you would like to feel… and breathe and feel into these positive emotions. “I am happy”, “I am secure”, “I am loved”. You can also use some visualization here…simply visualize what you want your life to look like in the future and what you want to attract. This can be very powerful, especially if you do it every day.

The other important thing about taking time out to meditate and connect with your soul, is that it also helps us gain clarity around what we want and what we need. After surrendering, quieten your mind and see what comes up for you.

Remember, we are all human, and as humans, we are bound to experience tough times. But one thing is for sure, what doesn’t kill us, does make us stronger… what doesn’t kill us, will help us to grow. It is important to remind yourself of that fact, especially when you’re in the thick of painful emotions.

Things generally always work out for the best, but again, it can be hard to see this whilst grieving or feeling upset. When you’re in the thick of it, try and detach from your negative emotions slightly and try to see what it is you are learning in this experience. Essentially, we are all here to learn and grow…and some lessons are harder than others, but if we remember the bigger picture, then it makes the tough times much easier to swallow.

So, to summarize the points of importance in regard to getting through tough times:

• Feel your feelings, and grieve, then move on and focus on the positive
• Have faith
• Remember that everything happens for a reason, even if not apparent straight away
• Surrender to the universe… let go of heavy emotions and thoughts… raise your vibration
• Feel gratitude
• Trust in the bigger picture
• Try to detach from your negative emotions and see the lesson behind the experience
• Remember that what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger and help us to grow
• Meditate and connect with your soul to gain clarity
• Visualise what you want to attract and feel the emotions that you want to feel

 

Love Kate xx

When I think back to all the obstacles I have overcome over the past 10 years, I remember the one thing that has been a part of me and my make-up, this entire time. That is my ability to surrender to the universe, and simply remind myself to ‘trust and have faith’. This is incredibly healing, and I attribute my strength of character, my positive sense of who I am, and my blessed life, to these few words. I remember crying on my bed, in complete despair in regard to the gaping holes I once had in my life. But I remember that thought. I remember those few words ‘trust and have faith’. Those words were so powerful at the time, and they continue to be powerful to this day.

Essentially, I did surrender, and trust that things would improve in my life, as long as I kept taking small actions towards building something new and good. These words gave me the courage to take those small steps, and then bigger steps, and even bigger steps. Every time I would feel afraid, or lacked confidence or resolve, I would repeat these words in my mind. And they gave me comfort, knowing that I had complete faith that things would get easier, and better for me. And I still practice this… to.this.day.

Knowing what I now know about manifestation, I realise that through thinking positively and visualising success, taking solid action steps towards improving myself and my life, and having total faith that things would get better, led me towards building (and manifesting) a beautiful life. I didn’t know at the time, that by doing the above things, essentially, I was putting myself in the driver’s seat of my life, and in the process of manifesting an amazing future.

If I had one piece of advice for someone in a similar position to the one I was in 10 years ago, I would tell them to dive right into a manifestation practice, but even more importantly, simply to repeat those words ‘trust and have faith’, when faced with despair or hardships. I would tell them just how incredibly powerful those words can be, and how much strength and courage can be derived by repeating those words regularly.

In the space of ten years I have found an abundance of love and friendships, meaningful work, amazing opportunities, a lovely home and car, financial stability, personal and spiritual growth, inner peace and self-love, and everything that I need to be happy.

All thanks to my extraordinary belief that if I trust, and have faith, things will work out – and of course taking courageous action towards bettering myself and my situation every single day. You can’t really have one without the other, because even if you keep taking steps forward, you may hit roadblocks, and want to give up. But when you pair action with the belief that faith and trust in the universe will carry you the rest of the way, you will be unstoppable.

So trust… and have faith, the universe is on your side.

 

 

 

Very recently, I have been reminded of just how important it is, to me, to be authentic and live in alignment with my beliefs and values. I have, for the past year, moved very much away from talking about my past, talking about my spiritual and personal growth and talking about my spiritual beliefs in general. I started falling out of alignment with what I know to be true, and what I know to be my calling in this life. What I know to be true, is that above all else, I value honesty, authenticity and growth. What I also know to be true, is my calling to share my story, and to express myself authentically. In the past year I had not been expressing myself in the ways that mean the most to me. I had left my past behind me.

I know some people say its good to leave the past in the past. But the past makes up the very fabric of who I am today. So, denying and hiding the past, is essentially denying and hiding important parts of who I am. I am not going to do that any longer. I have been very fortunate, in finding myself back in my profession as a peer worker, and in this profession, I show up every day, as who I truly am, and this is seen as a positive. This has really reminded me how truly beneficial it is to take off my mask and be my true self. It is invigorating, empowering and life-giving.

This reminder has prompted me, once again, to start living authentically, every day. I feel like it is especially important…crucial, in fact, to get my story and experiences out there, to assist others who may be struggling. And I honestly forgot how important this calling is to me. Don’t get me wrong, you will not be catching me talking about my past incessantly or when it is inappropriate to do so. It is still extremely important to remember that my past is only a mere portion of who and what I am.

But it is in my work, that I bare all. In my work, it is important to get my message out there. The message that despite hardship and struggle, you can build a life well worth living. This is a very important message, and I will honour this message, by living in alignment with the truest version of myself, and spreading the word.

This is my pledge.

 

I have literally never been this happy. There is one very important thing to say though as a follow up to this statement. This happiness isn’t actually to do with my external circumstances at this very time… which are just…amazing…for your information. This is actually to do with my internal world. It is no mistake though, that I believe our internal world often can be reflected in our external world… When things are good inside, things generally look much better outside. And it has taken me some time to get my internal world looking as fabulous as it currently does.

For those of you who know me very well, you know that I have been through very hard times in my early years. Then things got a lot better… with love, work and life in general. That wasn’t the end of my journey though. Since leaving me ex-fiancé roughly 4 years ago, I have been on another journey. Maybe not exactly as difficult as the journey I went on from the ages of 14-26, but difficult, none the less. I have had to find myself again. I have had to try and find inner happiness, self-love and joy… being an independent single gal. I have questioned a lot over the past 4 years… “have I made a horrible mistake?” But I know now that it wasn’t a mistake, to leave my life behind and try and manifest something better…more fulfilling, and something that really ‘fit’ me down to a tee.

I have cried many tears, I have had many a sleepless night, but this doesn’t compare to the amount of internal strength that has grown inside as a result of me, doin’ it on my own. I know now that this was the right path for me, and I have proved to myself that I can be an independent, hard-working, ass kicking woman… who is full of self-love, self-acceptance, and inner peace.

Over these past 4 years I have accomplished a lot…. Not necessarily to be seen by the untrained eye… but to me… I can see it. But the most important thing that I have accomplished, by far, is my ability to completely love and accept who I am, warts and all. Let me tell you, if your life isn’t going exactly the way you want it to… it is ok… to shut down, and then reboot.

The lesson we can all take away from this is that if you truly find within yourself, your own sense of self-love and your own sense of joy and happiness, then your external world, will flourish, in response. I am not going to list the things that I am happy about. The important thing is, that I am happy, inside.

Suffice to say, if I can do it, I know that anyone can, despite past or present adversities. It has been a long, difficult road, but I have so many incredible things to be grateful for. And I cannot wait to see what the future holds. And lastly, I just want to thank my friends and family, even the ones I don’t see too often, as you are all amazing.

We are all going through something at the moment, that we have never been through before. It is a crisis, and we all are just doing our best, to keep our heads above water. During such trying times, we all need to work on having some faith.

Faith has been my ally over these past few years, well… to be fair its actually been my ally for a god damn long time. I like to think of myself as being a bit of a master, when it comes to having faith.

Faith is basically means having an innate sense of trust, that things will work out for the best, in the long run. This makes feelings of discomfort in your immediate present, much more manageable. It doesn’t necessarily mean your feelings of discomfort will dissipate completely, but it helps a great deal.

It is very difficult to have faith when the whole world is focusing on this negative thing. This virus is everywhere we turn, its inescapable. But I try and change my focus. Firstly, it can be helpful to focus on the positives of our current situation – don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that this is easy. But for instance, I am trying to look at this situation as a bit of downtime for myself. I’m keeping it simple. Life is not overly complicated at the moment, its all about staying home to save lives. What can I do at home that I can enjoy? What positives can staying at home, bring to my life? I can rest and recuperate, I can get to know myself again, I can write, I can read, I can learn and reflect. Before this lock-down began, I didn’t have much time for any of these things. I can see this as a positive, to come out of a seemingly negative change to my lifestyle.

I am not letting go of my goals at this time. And in fact, I can be even more focused on my goals. Sure, some goals may not be workable at this time. But you can also add new, more relevant goals. I am still focusing on sticking to my diet, and I am still able to consistently lose weight. I am going to take more time to write and reflect, which was also one of my new years resolutions. I can continue to practice meditation, and can easily practice this on a daily basis. I can get back in touch with old friends and maintain important existing friendships and share a coffee and phone call with them.

I feel like all of these goals are very nourishing. So rather than just watch Netflix all day everyday, I can still focus on self-nourishment, and my goal setting. Don’t get me wrong though, I am enjoying Netflix and chill… I just try and limit it to a few hours a day.

Secondly, I like to focus on what I will do, once this crisis is over. I look forward to being able to work full-time again, and feel purposeful. I look forward to being able to plan a holiday, and I look forward to the contact (and hugs) I will be able to have with family and friends. Little things will make me happy, like being able to sit at my favorite cafe and enjoy a coffee and breakfast. Going to a shopping center to buy a new dress, or even if I’m only window shopping. Going to a nice restaurant for dinner. Being able to go to a concert, or gig without the fear that we have right now at this time.

So… I’ve shifted my focus, to looking at the positives, and I have also tried to be mindful not to stress too much, over things I cant control. I just hold the trust and faith, that we will get through this, and there will be lots of positives when we get to the other side.

Love Kate xx

I still struggle with body image some days. Some days its intense. It feels like a nightmare on those days…. Because I’ve come from a space, many years ago where I didn’t eat… where all I could think about was weight-loss and being thin…to now, being in a space where I have to take medication that has the unfortunate side effect of making me a bit heavier. To say that its hard is an understatement. I have to practice radical self-love and self-acceptance, which is very hard on those really bad days. But what I try to hold onto on those days… is the fact that the majority of the time, I’m actually okay with myself. On the other not so bad days, I feel immense gratitude for all the things in my life, and I feel immense gratitude for the fact that I have a beautifully functioning mind and body. This is what keeps me going. I actually have to say this… I never in a million years would have thought I could love myself, despite not being size 6 or size 8. And whilst I do have my bad days, I can still at the end of the day, love who I am, inside and out. I believe you can be beautiful at any size, and I thank the people in my life now who make me feel beautiful, despite not having “model” looks. But more than anything else, I give thanks to me, because I know it can be hard, but I manage to make sure I show myself unconditional positive regard on most days, and I can leave my apartment feeling love for myself, and feeling confident that I am… okay, and more than that… I am uniquely beautiful in my own way (as is absolutely EVERYONE).

Love Kate xx

I want to write today about goal setting and more importantly, how to successfully achieve those goals. Goals can seem overwhelming at times. We might think, “How am I going to get from the point I am at now (point a) all the friggin way to where I want to be (point b or point c).

The one thing that we must remember in relation to this is…. The most important step you can take to realise your goals is the VERY FIRST STEP. All we need to be able to do is identify what the first step is and take it! This can be scary, but you need to simply trust in the process and trust that if you are willing to take that initial step, the universe will recognise this and help you in your cause! Meet the universe half-way. Things will start to flow; things will start to unfold. But ONLY if you are brave enough to take that first step. From then on, its little steps and little steps and little steps.

For instance, at the moment, I have set a goal to complete a health science degree in Chinese medicine and acupuncture. This is a HUGE goal and is going to involve 4 years minimum of hard work and commitment. I could get very overwhelmed by this. But I took the first step which was to enrol in the course. From here on in I am going to take little steps and focus on each step as I take it. I will also trust that the universe will conspire to help me in my cause, and provide me with what I need, whether that be a new job that works around my study schedule, more time in general to study, or the money I need for text books. The point is I could sit and stress about all the intricacies involved in setting a goal of such magnitude, but that is pointless. Again, having that trust in the universe is KEY for setting and achieving goals. Remember its not just in your scope of control, but that the universe is also on your side, as long as you do your bit and take part in the process of moving forward.

The same goes for any goal, of any size. Once you can identify what it is that you truly want to create or achieve or manifest, have the courage to take that initial step. It’s so powerful. Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. You want a different outcome in your life? Do something different! Be brave! It ALWAYS pays off.

Sometimes you need to forgo thinking about all the nitty gritty details of goal setting, and just take powerful action steps and then trust the process! If you follow suit with this kind of thinking, you truly can achieve any goal. The problem is most goal setting and going after your goals, involves an element of stepping out of your comfort zone… which a lot of people are unwilling to experience. Are you ready to make a change and follow what your heart truly desires? I AM.

I really want to finish my book and get it published. I know it needs some serious work though. Since I finished writing that manuscript, back in 2015, my life has changed a lot. The “guts” of the book, if I was to write it again, would remain the same. I would be telling the story of how I grew up, to eventually end up with a severe eating disorder. Then I would tell the story of my recovery from said eating disorder, and how things progressed to rebellion, socialising, raving and drug taking; and then further to my downfall after this phase. I would go into telling the story of how I ended up with severe psychosis and mania, and how this progressed to a diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder.

Then this would be followed by the story of my recovery from this illness…. Which would eventually lead to me meeting my ex-fiancé, and how I started to lead a life that was no longer bound by stigma or other people’s expectations. I would talk about how I made friends, started working in mental health and how I got into public speaking.

But this would be where the similarities end between book written back then, and book written now. Because this point in my life (engaged to be married and working in mental health) was not even close to being the end of my story, or journey.
So much has happened since that time. I left my fiancé, lived independently, and truly found, myself. I found a stability that didn’t come from having a partner or stable job. I found a stability in the sense that I found a way to be well, happy and confident… consistently. I found stability in the sense that I now know who I am…. And I know my limits (better yet I learned to overcome said limits and reach for the stars). I found independence, self-love, and I found a sense of peace with who I am – even with some of the not so “good” stuff.

Sure, I don’t have everything in my life as I want it – yet. But I’m doing my best to make sure this is inevitable! I’m happy and I have faith that more good things will come #manifestation-equation.
My question is this…in terms of finishing my book, do I need to wait until I get to a point in my life where everything is in perfectly in place – job, partner, house etc? (Which will come!) Or do I finish the book whilst I’m standing right where I am now? Happy and so far distanced from mental health stigma that it doesn’t even touch the sides anymore?! From the outside it doesn’t look perfect, but in many ways my life is more perfect now than it has ever really been!

Do I need to wait until I have come full circle? Or have I already come full circle (in an emotional and spiritual sense)?

I guess what I’m trying to ascertain is this… What is the exact message that I want to convey in my book? Is it simply that, I came from hard times, to good times, and I tell the story of how that happened? Is it a message of hope? But also, one of patience, persistence, resilience and courage? Is it one of moving beyond the confines of stigma?
Is it a story of ‘an amazing, happy, fulfilled life, doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right ingredients, is not only possible, but inevitable?’

Do I need to add the sections in about recovery concepts? How music has affected my life? Etc? Or do I keep it as a simple narrative?

What do you think? I would appreciate your feedback!
I really want to finish writing this bitch!

Love Kate xx

I just recently finished a book called “Make It Happen”, by Jordanna Levin. Probably the most helpful and empowering book I have ever read!

It is a book all about the art of manifestation… and it really spoke to me. It talks about the “Manifestation Equation” – which targets 4 factors that you are in control of. The message is that we need all these factors to be working for us, to effectively manifest things that we want and need in our lives. The four factors are:

• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Action
• Faith

I really think I have 3 of these factors, working for me effectively in my life. I keep my thoughts positive, I take the right action steps to meet the universe halfway, and I have complete faith that I can manifest the things I need and want, when the timing is right (although this is a work in progress). The one thing I have been playing around with and trying to master, since finishing the book, is feeling and knowing that I already have manifested what I need and want. It’s a tricky concept…. We have to try to feel what we would be feeling when a, b or c has manifested in our lives. I have been trying to do this in my morning meditations. I sit there calmly and peacefully, trying to feel the feelings of abundance, freedom, excitement, inspiration and security (because I have identified that these are the feelings I would have when I have manifested love, an awesome job, and an abundance of money into my life).

I sit there and I really feel into those feelings. Like attracts like, right? So, if I want to attract a romantic relationship which makes me feel loved and loving, I need to already feel, sense and know that I am loved and loving. Making sense?

The only other really big message that this book gets across is that one thing that can really stand in the way of manifesting what we truly want and need, is limiting beliefs. If we don’t truly believe that we are deserving of those really good things that we want and need, then the universe is going to hear that and therefore there will be a block in your manifestations.

If there is one thing, I have learnt over the course of my life journey, is that amazing things do happen when you truly believe you are worthy of them happening to you. A lot of people don’t believe in miracles, but it has been my experience, that miracles do in fact, happen all the time.

And I really feel deep down, that I am deserving of those miracles and those amazing things. Because I have worked hard at life, and I am a good person…. Just like you!
Probably the one limiting belief I have to still work on, is my ability to manifest financial abundance. I feel that there might still be some scarcity thinking at play in my life. “I never have enough money” or “I can’t afford that” comes up a lot for me. But I’m workin’ on it!!!

I also am working hard at changing the way I feel about my body. If I walk around telling myself that I’m too fat or not good looking enough, well then that won’t bring anything good! Instead I am learning to love myself, curves and all. I am feeling confident and I ooze self-love. I’ve already noticed how much this simple change has impacted my daily experience of life and interactions with people!

With limiting beliefs out the way, and adding in the manifestation equation practice – thoughts, feelings, actions and faith-, I believe I can manifest the life of my dreams.\

And just to clarify…
That might look a bit like this:

An amazing romantic relationship, that makes me feel happy, excited, loved, connected and joyful.
An amazing career/business that makes me feel inspired, fulfilled, excited and happy.
A bank account that makes me feel supported, secure and abundant!

WATCH THIS SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I will give updates).

Love Kate x

Do you show up in your life?

What does it mean to show up in your life? I watched a talk by Brene Brown yesterday and she states that the way to show up in your life, is to be vulnerable, take risks, and act with bravery in all aspects of your life.

I had a good think about it and about whether I ‘show up’ in my own life, and if I could do it better.

I realised that I’m actually quite good at “showing up”. I feel like, a big part of being vulnerable, and taking risks, in my life, happens when I simply tell the truth. And this is something I’ve done a lot of…. in the sense that whenever I do public speaking, at an event or on radio, I am open book and I bare all to the audience. I overcome the fear of ‘what people might think’ and risk it all, in the name of something bigger and more important. What I mean by this is, I take the risk, because I want to face my fears, and grow as a person, and I want to reduce stigma in society around mental health issues. I do this by showing the audience, that someone with a serious mental health diagnosis, can achieve as much as anyone else can. So yes, in the public speaking sense, I show up, consistently. And Brene Brown is correct, when she says that being vulnerable is a direct route, to experiencing joy. Some of the most amazing moments of my life, are directly linked to how vulnerable I allowed myself to be, and how much of a risk I have taken.

I have “shown up” in other aspects of my life too. Although probably not as much. I have been in love, and that in itself, is taking a risk. I have gone on dates and been honest about parts of myself that may or may not be seen as good. It’s a work in progress though…. It is a challenge to emotionally expose yourself…. It can feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. But I can tell you one thing I have learnt. That every time I have exposed myself emotionally, and allowed myself to vulnerable, and seen… something inherently good, and pure, and beautiful, comes from it. Although you can experience what Brene calls “a vulnerability hangover”, I swear that when that settles, you can see the gift or gifts in that vulnerable experience.

So I will continue to move forward, facing my fears (which I must say have gotten smaller and smaller, as I stretch myself and take more risks). And I will continue to follow my dreams (the goal posts have changed a lot though, which is super exciting). And I will continue to show up, as much as possible.

Don’t be afraid of vulnerability. It is absolutely the key, to deeper meaning in relationships, and joy in your life.

Be brave and take emotional risks!