If there is one thing, I know to be true, it’s that self-love, self-acceptance and self-compassion are the keys to not only living a happy life, but also to living a life of abundance.
Let us address each of these concepts, separately, because it is exceedingly important, to grasp the meaning of each.
Self-Love and Self-Worth:
I feel as if I have mastered the art of self-love/self-worth, although at times it can still be difficult.
There is one thing that helps me to move towards self-love in each and every moment; and that is the notion that we are actually wasting precious energy, when we tap into feelings of self-loathing and insecurity. At the end of the day, if we spend so much time feeling these negative feelings, it is going to give a confusing message to the universe. If we want to attract positive things into our lives, such as loving relationships, opportunities, or cash-flow… but we are ourselves not feeling worthy of receiving these things, then this is a block that the universe cant get around. It is only when we feel worthy and deserving of good things, that the flow of energy between yourself and the universe becomes clear… and therefore, increases our chances of manifestation.
In terms of self-love, it is helpful to divide your life into four main areas, and then identify where you are wasting precious energy in these areas. I would suggest you look at these areas:
- Physical appearance
- Relationships
- Career
- Finances
Ask yourself what counterproductive thoughts, feelings and actions are preventing you from having higher vibrations in these areas. Remember that when we are tapping into self-loathing/insecurity/low self-worth feelings, our vibration is going to be lowered, and we won’t be able to attract what we desire. Instead, we need to tap into the feelings of self-love and self-worth.
For me, I struggle the most in the areas of Physical appearance and finances. So, this is where I need to do the most work. I constantly have to re-examine and re-set my limiting beliefs around these two areas. For instance, I quite regularly have the thought… “I will be deserving of a soulmate relationship when I lose another 5kgs” or, “I will love myself when I lose another 5kgs”. This is not good. I have had to re-assess these thoughts and change them. I tell myself now, that I am 100% enough…. And that I am 100% worthy of amazing things… right now, at this very moment. Some days this is easier than others.
Remember its ok to want to make changes to better yourself (such as with the issue of weight). But making these changes needs to come from a place of love, not fear. I am not going to waste my energy on feeling low-vibrational feelings. Also, ask yourself, “would the things that are stopping you from loving yourself, stop you from loving another person?” The answer to this is always no. I’m not going to judge someone and not love them because of what they look like or what their bank balance is. So why am I judging myself for these things??
There are a few other pointers that I would like to address when it comes to self-love.
Don’t fall into the comparison trap. Constantly comparing yourself to others is one sure-fire way to allow those low vibrational feelings to wreak havoc in your life. We are each on our own journey, learning our own lessons. Don’t waste your time and energy comparing your looks, weight, bank balance, career or relationship status to someone else in your life or on your social media. Focus on your own path, your own lessons and your own growth. Period.
Be authentically you. Don’t be a people pleaser, and don’t spend time and energy worrying about what other people think of you. Pretending to be someone you’re not is probably the biggest waste of energy there is. Go out into the world, determined to be who you truly are, and stand in your truth in all situations. This is the road to self-empowerment, and it is the fuel for your vibrational frequency.
Self-love is not about self-improvement or looking for answers externally. It’s a deep dive into self and into practicing self-acceptance of where and who you are in each and every moment.
And on that note, lets take a look at self-acceptance.
Self-Acceptance:
It is only by truly accepting who we are and where we are in our lives, that we can begin to move forward. I learned this lesson, intimately many years ago. I had very little in my life, and very few people in my life. I literally was at rock bottom. But acceptance of being at rock bottom, gives us fuel to make changes. If you let the truth overwhelm you, or sadden you, you become a victim of your circumstances. If you want to feel empowered, then self-acceptance is the way to go. When you feel empowered, you can make brave choices, and you see and seize opportunities. Solutions to problems are much easier to come by when you stand in acceptance and empowerment.
Comparison is a big factor again, when it comes to self-acceptance. Do not compare who you are or where you are at in your life, to anybody else. Like I said before, it is so important to focus on your own path and your own growth. Ten years ago, at 26 years of age, I could have very easily gotten caught up in comparisons with other people my age, but had I have done this, again I would have found it exceedingly difficult to move forward. I would have viewed myself as a victim, and I would have felt dis-empowered and helpless.
Self-acceptance is the path to self-discovery, and it allows us to find direction in our lives. It is the path forward. Period.
Let us lastly address self-compassion.
Self-Compassion:
Self-compassion allows us to be our own best friend, and our own cheerleader in life. And when you are up against challenges or adverse circumstances, this is nonnegotiable. Without self-compassion, we make things harder for ourselves, because we judge ourselves, we berate ourselves for making mistakes, and it is much more difficult to find a level of resilience.
It is inevitable that throughout our lives, we will make mistakes. But when we carry a level of self-compassion, we move through these mistakes, with ease and grace. We can recognize that making mistakes allows us to learn and grow, and therefore we see that making mistakes, is actually priceless. We are able to move forward, knowing that we tried our best, and that this is enough. Self-compassion and self-love go hand in hand… Because when we show compassion towards ourselves, we are essentially saying to ourselves “I love you and you are enough”.
I have made many mistakes in my life. But the way I think about these mistakes means that they don’t affect my level of self-worth or self-esteem. I celebrate the fact that I am learning and growing. And I won’t make the same mistake twice. This makes those mistakes, valuable.
With your self-love, self-acceptance and self-compassion in-tact, you will be an unstoppable force. Not only will life be more enjoyable, it will flow more easily, and you will be able to manifest to your heart’s desire. I am living proof of this. I now stand in a place that is full of abundance and blessings, but I wouldn’t be here had I not mastered these 3 concepts.
If you struggle with any of these concepts, I urge you to take some time out, to consider how you too, can master them. I promise you; you won’t regret it. Allow self-love, self-acceptance, and self-compassion, to show you the way forward… and you too will eventually see how magical life can be.
Love Kate xx