Easter Challenges
Easter, for most people, is one of the most enjoyable festive holidays in the year. However, for those of us who may struggle with eating and/or body image issues, it can be one of the most challenging times. I remember when I was hospitalised for anorexia nervosa in my early to mid -teens, my mum and dad knew that the likelyhood of me consuming any easter chocolate bunny treats was next to nothing. My mum and dad, as a loving and caring gesture, would buy me bunny or chicken soft toys, to try and make sure I didn’t miss out, because of my eating disorder. I don’t know if I appreciated this at the time, as much as I should have. Chocolate tended to be something that was challenging for me, even throughout my recovery when I was about 16 years old. I remember that when I was in the midst of my recovery at Hollywood Clinic – who had a dedicated eating disorder inpatient program – I started to try and change my relationship with food. This is necessary in eating disorder recovery – although eating disorders aren’t really about food as such – they are more about feelings of low self-worth and needing to be thin to feel like you are, just ok – or enough – However, the relationship with food still must be examined to really get to a stage when the eating disorder isn’t calling the shots all the time. So, in an effort to move forward in my recovery journey, myself and another girl whom was experiencing similar issues, decided to try mars lite bars. It was challenging, but it did the trick in terms of recovery… It helped me to feel like the eating disorder was no longer in control – I was in control – more and more every day.
I will mention that whilst, since that time, dieting and restricting hadn’t gone away entirely… I have generally been quite comfortable with chocolate in general. And a lot of this dates back to when I was really challenging the eating disorder at the age of 16. That is what has to happen in recovery. You must stand up with strength against the ED, and tell it that YOU are now in control. So, eat that chocolate bunny. Tell your ED to stick it. Because you deserve to enjoy easter as much as the next person. I don’t’ go overboard with chocolate at Easter – or even Christmas time. But I do allow myself to enjoy what I do eat. And to be honest, it isn’t really that challenging anymore – at all really! Because I enjoy small amounts of chocolate in my usual diet. I love it, and whilst I don’t gorge myself, it is a normal, healthy part of a nourishing diet. Don’t think for a second that because it may be considered as “junk food”, that you must feel guilty about it! Your relationship with food needs to get to a stage where you stop categorizing foods as “good” or “bad”. As someone who has been through the ringer with eating, weight and body image issues, I can honestly say, now that I am generally against dieting in any way shape and form. Nourish your body because that is what it deserves. You can stay healthy, and still enjoy food and have a balanced diet. So, this easter, as I do every easter, I will enjoy a bunny or two, and more than likely enjoy a hot cross bun or two aswell!
The only way you can improve your relationship with food is to challenge yourself and remember to tell your eating disorder/weight obsession etc to get F’d!
I believe in you. If I can do it. Anyone can. My experiences with anorexia, if anything, make me more grateful on a daily basis, to simply enjoy my food.
As Luciano Pavarotti says…
“One of the very best things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing, and devote our attention to eating”
This way of thinking is absolutely ok, absolutely healthy, and absolutely necessary in eating disorder recovery.
Happy easter!
You 100% DESERVE to enjoy yourself.
Love Kate xxxx
Kate's Niche 