A Full Cup

A full cup.

Suddenly, I realise that my cup (or in other words, my soul) is completely and utterly full. I am happy, fulfilled and challenged (but not too challenged) …comfortable (but not too comfortable). I have time to bathe in my introverted-ness… enjoying the little things life has to offer, including being creative and intellectually stimulated, and I also have time to fully experience my extroverted self, enjoying being a social butterfly. I have everything I need. My relationships are so nourishing, on so many levels, and I am never bored or uninspired. Boredom is probably something I have grappled with for many years now, but for the first time EVER, I am whole, engaged and consistently inspired. For too long, I felt like there were parts of me missing; somehow… parts of me that weren’t engaged or fulfilled. And sometimes, I wonder how it is that I managed to get to this inner sanctum. A used to be in a cocoon; so scared to fully embrace life in its entirety. I would like to refer to a quote that sums up my journey, in a very succinct way. “You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and see that you’ve climbed a mountain”.

If anyone ever tells you that a life with considerable struggle is not able to transform into a life with abundance and happiness, I would tell them to think again. The first 27 years of my life were chocked full of not only struggle, but also distress, and loneliness. But the 11 years to follow, although still difficult at times, were full of magic, joy and promise for the future.

I know I have written many words (probably) over the past 8 years, that basically outline the same thing…outlining my experience of illness and the recovery journey that followed. But I feel like what I am writing today is slightly different. It is a kind of overview, a broad look at the difference between my inner experiences in the distant past, and my inner experiences in my recent present. I probably can’t quite get across the vast difference between my two different worlds. It is night and day, winter, and summer, black and white. It is emptiness and indeed, a cup that is overflowing.

I pray that you one day come to know the difference between these two worlds, and I hope you don’t give up until you get there. I pray that you find within you, the strength and resilience and inner wisdom, to get you from the depths of sorrow to the elatedness of joy.