There are some days that I still struggle with body image.
Even though I have lost a fair bit of weight over the past year, I am still not a size 8 and I grapple with this sometimes.
My perfectionistic tendencies kick in and I start criticizing myself for not being “perfect”.
Why do we do this? What is the point?
I am a big believer in the importance of self-love and self-compassion, and I am usually very good at practicing these. Yet I do still get stuck in self-loathing at times when it comes to body image and the way I look.
I never judge anyone else on their looks, so why do I continue to judge myself?
Having a history of negative body image and eating issues does not help me in my cause towards unconditionally loving myself. Sometimes I think I will always be prone to having that inner critic inside my head telling me awful things about myself…that same inner critic that sparked off my anorexia many moons ago.
Like I said, I think that most of the time I can love myself warts and all. And this is very empowering and feels really good. But what do I do on those days that all I can think about is losing weight?
What would I say to someone in the same position? I would probably tell them that it is ok to want to be healthy and if that means losing some weight, that is ok. But it needs to come from a place of love… not from a place of self-loathing and fear.
We are each unique and perfect in our own ways. Anyone who judges us for not being ‘perfect’ by society’s standards can go and take a flying leap in my opinion. And this includes my inner critic. I need to see that inner critic for what it is… a negative Nancy who doesn’t deserve to be listened to. If someone in my external world was telling me what my inner critic sometimes tells, I would cut ties with them immediately. I would consider them toxic, and abusive. So perhaps when I am next up against my own inner critic, I should do the same thing. Simply ignore its words and not give it the time of day. This of course is a challenging thing to do… because sometimes you cannot simply shut out your inner critic’s words. But you can stand up to them and respond with assertiveness (and love). I need to respond to my inner critic with words of affirmation. I need to affirm that I am in fact, already perfect, regardless of the number on the scales. I need to affirm that I deserve love and that I am more than willing to give myself this love and care. I need to affirm that I am “perfectly imperfect” and that my imperfections are what makes me who I am. Unique and beautiful, as each of us are in our own way.
So next time the inner critic within your mind starts wreaking havoc, stand up to them and affirm the positive. Love yourself unconditionally, regardless of the number on the scales.
I will give it my best shot, because I know I do not at all deserve that kind of abuse. I deserve only love, light and compassion.
Kate xx
Kate's Niche 