Changes.

I have been reflecting on something recently… on just how much this year has changed me. And how different I am now compared to the person I was 2, 4, 6 or even 12 years ago. I have been quite happy and content in my life since probably around 2012. Meeting my ex-fiancé and also getting into the field of mental health were two huge turning points for me. But it is staggering to think of the head space I used to be in, compared to the head space I am in now and have been in recently. I have gone from having little confidence and direction, to being someone who is motivated, confident and very aware and conscious of what direction I want my life to take. And more than anything else…. I have gone from being a shell of a person, to a whole, happy person.

Mental illness was such a huge part of my life for many years, and even during those years with my ex-fiancé. Finding my way into working in mental health made me feel good about myself because I was able to give something back, and I felt like I had a purpose. I do, however, feel differently about this now. It is great to give back to others who are on their own road to recovery, and yes, it does still give me purpose. But I feel I have another purpose now. My priority now, is to be happy and spread light wherever I go. This might sound simplistic, but it is a powerful motivator for me. If I can be a bright light in my own life… this is the greatest thing I can do for myself and others.

I had a conversation today with a client about where things are headed in my life. He said he sees me moving out of the mental health field, and I said to him that I do love my work in mental health, but that it no longer defines who I am. When I first started working in the industry, I felt like it fit with who I was… particularly because my mental health journey was such a huge part of who I was as an individual.

I no longer feel this way. I have moved so far away from my mental health journey that it really does feel like a distant memory… I am a whole person with many, many facets… and my mental health is just a tiny portion of that.

I still do feel the desire to share my story through writing and speaking, and I will continue to do this… However, this desire is present because I recognise that my story may have the ability to help others and give them hope that they may be lacking in their current circumstances…. It has nothing to do with self-gratification or to do with having attachments to my past. My past was simply a steppingstone to where I am now.

So, in further response to my client, I said he may very well be right. I may decide at some point in the future to move out of mental health all together. I have lots of other interests and I know there are infinite possibilities out there for me. I will let the universe show me the way.

But for now, I am incredibly happy working part-time in mental health and part-time in retail and I am happy in my life in general. And that is, indeed, my priority. But like I said, there are infinite possibilities out there…. And I am open minded to all of them. I know that with my trust and deep faith in the universe, I will be guided in the right direction.

Love Kate xx