I really want to finish my book and get it published. I know it needs some serious work though. Since I finished writing that manuscript, back in 2015, my life has changed a lot. The “guts” of the book, if I was to write it again, would remain the same. I would be telling the story of how I grew up, to eventually end up with a severe eating disorder. Then I would tell the story of my recovery from said eating disorder, and how things progressed to rebellion, socialising, raving and drug taking; and then further to my downfall after this phase. I would go into telling the story of how I ended up with severe psychosis and mania, and how this progressed to a diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder.
Then this would be followed by the story of my recovery from this illness…. Which would eventually lead to me meeting my ex-fiancé, and how I started to lead a life that was no longer bound by stigma or other people’s expectations. I would talk about how I made friends, started working in mental health and how I got into public speaking.
But this would be where the similarities end between book written back then, and book written now. Because this point in my life (engaged to be married and working in mental health) was not even close to being the end of my story, or journey.
So much has happened since that time. I left my fiancé, lived independently, and truly found, myself. I found a stability that didn’t come from having a partner or stable job. I found a stability in the sense that I found a way to be well, happy and confident… consistently. I found stability in the sense that I now know who I am…. And I know my limits (better yet I learned to overcome said limits and reach for the stars). I found independence, self-love, and I found a sense of peace with who I am – even with some of the not so “good” stuff.
Sure, I don’t have everything in my life as I want it – yet. But I’m doing my best to make sure this is inevitable! I’m happy and I have faith that more good things will come #manifestation-equation.
My question is this…in terms of finishing my book, do I need to wait until I get to a point in my life where everything is in perfectly in place – job, partner, house etc? (Which will come!) Or do I finish the book whilst I’m standing right where I am now? Happy and so far distanced from mental health stigma that it doesn’t even touch the sides anymore?! From the outside it doesn’t look perfect, but in many ways my life is more perfect now than it has ever really been!
Do I need to wait until I have come full circle? Or have I already come full circle (in an emotional and spiritual sense)?
I guess what I’m trying to ascertain is this… What is the exact message that I want to convey in my book? Is it simply that, I came from hard times, to good times, and I tell the story of how that happened? Is it a message of hope? But also, one of patience, persistence, resilience and courage? Is it one of moving beyond the confines of stigma?
Is it a story of ‘an amazing, happy, fulfilled life, doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right ingredients, is not only possible, but inevitable?’
Do I need to add the sections in about recovery concepts? How music has affected my life? Etc? Or do I keep it as a simple narrative?
What do you think? I would appreciate your feedback!
I really want to finish writing this bitch!
Love Kate xx
Kate's Niche 