My Story

My name is Kate Purcell and I’m going to tell you a little bit about me and the way I live my life.

I work in mental health and I have done for 5 years. I am passionate about working in the field of mental health, but really, my passion lies in telling my story, and sharing my wisdom. Whether this is through public speaking or writing. I have a strong belief that we can all better ourselves and our situation, regardless of whether we have a mental health diagnosis or not.

In case you’re not already aware…. I have battled mental illness for the majority of my life, quite severely, up until about 8 years ago. I experienced a terrifying and trying time when I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at the age of 14. I was hospitalized for this and this spanned over 2 years. Anorexia is something that most people don’t understand, but I understand it intimately. It is not just about food, or weight… it is about utter self-hatred and self-loathing, and it effects the person on so many levels including the relationships they have with others. My family describe those awful years as if I was possessed by some dark force. This dark force didn’t allow me to eat; didn’t allow me to communicate properly; and didn’t even allow me to smile. I was in hell. And I never saw a glimmer of hope…. It was a very dark place to inhabit. Eventually with the right support and the right tools, I managed to find a spark of hope, but even then, recovery was hard, and arduous.
To be completely honest I don’t think I will ever be completely free of those self-loathing thoughts in relation to weight and looks. I have really good days…and pretty normal days; but I still have bad days, where food and weight consume my thoughts. The difference now is, I know that weight loss and restricting what I eat, doesn’t bring anything good, it just spirals out of control and creates more obsession and disease. I know that looks and weight don’t matter at the end of the day, and I know what is important in life. That is (to name but a few), authentic relationships, health and wellbeing, and having dreams to work towards. The other thing I’ll mention is that during my time with anorexia, I also experienced debilitating OCD, which can be quite a common pairing. As I took back the reigns of my life with eating though, I found that I had the ability to overcome my obsessions and compulsions. Things like hand washing and always being on time. I was pretty lucky I guess in that way.

After my years consumed by anorexia, I had some good times and lots of fun times. However, this involved drug taking, which essentially set me up for the next difficult stage of life. Panic attacks, depression, and social phobia were my new companions. And aside from this, I felt very disconnected from myself and the world around me. It was a confusing and frustrating time.

Eventually things improved, mildly. And then I was hit with a very lengthy episode of psychosis. All other hurdles paled in comparison to how difficult this was to get through. There was no sense of comfort and no way out. I was stuck there, for a year, in hell…. Literally. During this time, I tried to take my own life, for the second time. Although this failed to make me feel any better or reduce the pain I was in at every moment.

Then, a very strange manic experience came on, and I was in this for about 3 months. And then a mixed episode, and then full-blown schizophrenic symptoms. This all happened over the course of about a year and a half. And I’m actually surprised that I managed to get through it all. It was confusing, it was terrifying, and I was powerless to stop it. Needless to say, my immediate family had moments of almost giving up, and moments where they probably thought there was nothing anyone could do, to bring Kate back to life.

But, I am so pleased to be able to say that this was not the end of my journey. It was the beginning of a new journey. A journey back to Kate. A journey back to full-functioning and a journey back to happiness and wellness.

I have healed from my past. And my family are getting there…. They see now that I am doing so well and that helps their wounds to heal… memories will always be challenging for them though. I actually don’t get too affected by old memories, and probably some of it I’ve blocked out a little bit. All I see now is my future ahead of me. And I won’t lie to you, sometimes life is very challenging, but even the worst day is nothing compared to what I have been through in my younger years.

My struggles in the past have given me a wonderful perspective on life. I know how incredibly lucky I am to have survived everything I went through. So, I very rarely sweat the small stuff. I may scratch the paint on my car, I may have a day at work where I stuff up. But these things don’t matter… There isn’t much that phases me these days.

I have immense gratitude for everything in my life now, and I think with such gratitude there comes a level of resilience and grace in regard to how I carry myself from one day to the next. Yes, I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder; yes I am on strong medication that I will be on until the day I die, and yes I still struggle with body image. But heck, I am alive, and I am in the process of living out my dreams. Slowly but surely, I will get there… regardless of how many challenging days I may have, or how many excruciating moments I may experience (I still have my moments!). I will get there. The other thing I will mention here, in relation to overcoming hurdles, is that I know that some people may not believe in me, on any given day. I know that some people still get caught up with my diagnosis and the challenges I face with that diagnosis…. But one very liberating thing that I have learnt is that it really DOES NOT MATTER what others think of you. All that matters to me is what I think of myself. And at the end of the day, I think I’m pretty frigging awesome. And the fact that I have people in my life that love me, says a lot too. I am so blessed to have a bunch of people that I can call friends, and a lovely bunch of people I can call family (even if they don’t get me). And I even have some romance in my life again now, which is absolutely lovely.

So, what are the dreams that I am working towards?  Well I’ll tell you. Although I like working in mental health, this is not the be all and end all for me. I want to speak and write (perhaps another book) and maybe even do a podcast or run my own workshops. I would like to build my DoTerra essential oils business, so I can have more time to enjoy life (working full-time isn’t for me! – and that’s ok!) and build a life that is centered around wellness and financial freedom.
I would love to travel more, I would love to get married to my soulmate and maybe even have a little mini me one day. And I just want…. To be happy.

I think they are pretty awesome goals and I’m excited to be able to work towards them!

If there are a few messages I would like you to take away today it would be these:

BE GRATEFUL! You have no idea how lucky you actually are.

You can overcome any hurdle! You have no idea how resilient you actually are.

Always be working towards your greatest dreams and aspirations… YOU ARE CAPABLE AND YOU DESERVE IT! This may require you to push outside your comfort zone, but trust me, it’s worth doing!

Who cares what others may think of you…. The only thing that truly matters is what you think of yourself. And if you don’t truly love and appreciate yourself already…. You need to work on this! Because you will have a relationship with yourself until the day you die. Make this relationship shine!

Love Kate xx