Relationships are not a one-way street

Why this sudden apathy?

I feel kind of despondent at this very moment – but its important to make the distinction…

I’m only despondent in one specific area of my life.

I am happy with my job and my personal pursuits… in fact I couldn’t be happier!

I am happy with my family life and for once in my life my finances look hopeful.

But other relationships in my life? Friends and Romantic Relationships?

Four words sum it up quite well… Cannot.Be.Bothered.Anymore.

 

I’m sick and tired of putting myself out there and being disappointed or let down.

Why must I try so hard to try and catch up with friends?

Why can’t people seek me out?

I can’t be bothered anymore doing things just for the sake of having ‘something to do’ – id prefer my own company rather than seeing other people who don’t really appreciate me.

I’m done with online dating.

I’m done with incessant searching

I’m done with being the only person to keep trying to stay in touch.

I’m happy to see people, but only if they truly value and appreciate my presence and my friendship.

If its a case of me having to continually grasp at straws; I’m done.

I often talk about how we have to make things happen in our lives…. Take risks… Put yourself out there and do things that scare you.

But I think I have found one area in my life where this mantra doesn’t really fit (at least not at this very moment).

Sometimes you have to sit back and see what comes to you.

Sometimes we have to risk being in solitude, to see who is really there for us.

So that is what I am doing.

I know I have made some mistakes in the past and I know I’m not perfect (none of us are)

But I am a good person and a good friend and I deserve good quality friendships that are more than just a one-way street.
Universe come at me with an abundance of real, true, friendships.

Because I cannot keep grasping at straws.