I have been on quite the journey in regards to my thoughts…. I’m going to use a bit of a timeline to talk about the different kinds of thinking that I experienced from around the age of 13 up until now.
When I was going through anorexia, my thoughts were very negative and obsessive (as you can imagine). There was a kind of depression that came along with this illness, as life just seemed to be a constant struggle and full of hopelessness…. It wasn’t until I went to Hollywood clinic that I really started to become aware of my thought patterns… and it was a very slow process of changing the constant barrage of negativity in my mind and soul. It was only when I saw a glimmer of hope, that I finally started to feel as if I could rise up above my negative thoughts. I believe that in recovery from an eating disorder, it is vital to do some work on thought patterns…. Because essentially thoughts are what keep us stuck in the darkness.
When I was going through anxiety, depression and social phobia after my drug taking days, my thoughts were all consuming at times. And they were slightly disjointed or disconnected. When my doctor sent me off to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy course, it didn’t work at all. I wasn’t in the right place, mentally, to fight my demons. So, CBT can be great… if you are in the right place mentally. The one strategy that I adhered to… that kept the anxiety from getting out of control, is that I used to “feel the fear and do it anyway”.
This is a powerful way of changing thought patterns. If you succumb to the fear, the more fearful and negative and afraid you will become. However if you act, despite being afraid, this creates thoughts of empowerment and it actually lessens the fear, ultimately. I use this strategy to this day, and it has worked wonders for me. Faking it until you make it isn’t always easy, but the result is 1000 times better that if you stay stuck in fear.
Whilst I was going through my psychosis, there was little I could do about my delusional, grandiose and negative thoughts. This is where medication comes into play. With illnesses like schizophrenia, or psychosis in general, there first needs to be a normalizing of thoughts with medication…a movement back to reality. Then once this has occurred, you can start to work on your thoughts and move further forward.
So, when I finally was diagnosed and medicated… I was on the road to recovery. It was at this time, that I could finally start to change my thoughts, and consequently, change the course of my life.
There are a few strategies I use now which help me remain positive and keep my thoughts positive. Firstly, it was the right time to go back to CBT. I did a two-week course at Perth Clinic, to really help me become aware of my unhelpful thought patterns. Things like black or white thinking, or catastrophized thinking were helpful to become aware of. This course gave me the positivity and more importantly the confidence, to make positive changes in my life, such as changing career paths into the mental health field (which was the best thing I’ve ever done.
Also, I believe faith and hope are integral to remaining positive in your thinking. Trusting and having faith that things will work themselves out, is so important…. Hope creates a sense of positive expectation… which ultimately helps with feeling resilient and helps to attract positive things into your life.
Gratitude is another big one for me. When you are consistently thankful and grateful for things that are part of your life, it also creates an underlying stream of positivity in your psyche. The key here is also to be grateful for the challenging things too… see challenges and setbacks as learnings, and you will again, be more open to attracting more positivity into your world.
Stay positive
Kate xxx
Kate's Niche 