Last Friday I was pretty annoyed. I was annoyed for the same reason I usually get annoyed… that is… discrimination and negative stigma surrounding mental illness.
I am not going to point fingers but I’ll tell you the situation that occurred. Over these past 18 months I have had my sights very keenly set on a life coaching course, that is delivered right here in Perth. It was actually called a Diploma of Coaching, Mentoring and Interpersonal facilitation – and it is advertised as being “heart based learning”. I though all my Christmas’ had come at once when I found this course. It is everything that I had been wanting. Financially I haven’t been in the position to do the course but was planning to enrol in their next intake in September of this year.
As you may be aware already, I am open book these days when it comes to my past illnesses and past experiences. I only have people in my life now that accept me completely and totally as I am. Hence when I spoke to one of the women that facilitates this course, I was so excited to tell her my story and moreover, to tell her about my passion and plans for the future. That is; to coach and mentor people in recovery from mental health issues (and possibly do this in a group format also).
The woman told me that I was inspiring for things I have been through and my very positive outlook on life today. One of the first things she was immediately concerned about though was whether I planned on coaching people who are really ill. My answer to this was that no, I wouldn’t be reaching out so much to people who are acutely unwell, but people who are on their way through recovery… like I was some 6 years ago (very scared of life and unsure what to make of my future, after being given a very serious mental health diagnosis).
She still seemed to grapple with the idea of helping anyone with what some may call “the most acute mental illnesses” such as schizophrenia, psychosis and bi-polar. She spoke of perhaps helping people who battle with anxiety and depression. I of course agreed I would be working with people with anxiety and depression, but I also feel that people with the more acute illnesses can be helped and supported to a point where they are living lives that they too, are very proud of and excited about. By all means I know this doesn’t happen overnight, and that this process takes time; but I still bloody well believe that people (like me) can achieve this.
Am I wrong to think this?
Am I deluded?
Am I (as this woman put it), an exception to the general rule? – In that I have learned to thrive in this life despite my past and present diagnosis?
I say NO… not in the slightest. It is the stigma around mental illness that keeps people stuck… not their inabilities. Stigma keeps the unwell, sick, and keeps those people around us, blinded to what we can actually achieve.
This woman kept telling me that she was concerned also about my own wellbeing. If I was to undertake this course, would I not become overwhelmed, and end up falling ill again?
I was really annoyed by this as this was a grave assumption – but I let her go on. She said I must go to my psychiatrist to talk about whether or not I should do the course.
So I did.
My psychiatrist was (as I had suspected) perfectly fine with me doing the course, and had no concern. After all he has seen my strength, courage and resilience in getting to where I am today; and doesn’t question my ability to lead a normal functioning life. I was diagnosed and put on medication 6 and a half years ago… and haven’t looked back since. I only ever look forward.
I went back to the woman who runs the course to tell her that my psychiatrist gave me the green light. Only to be told that I wasn’t a good fit for their course – and basically told – and quite bluntly I might add – that I was not welcome.
Disappointed would be an understatement of how I felt after this.
I was shocked and hurt – and then just really pissed off.
I’m not entirely sure what their reasons were for rejecting me. Partly I think it was because she figured that someone with a past like mine was surely to be still fragile and will ultimately end up unwell again at some stage. – Which is a HUGE assumption!
Perhaps they lacked belief in me – or perhaps they lacked belief in other people with mental health ‘problems’. Perhaps it is pie in the sky thinking, to believe that ANYONE can have a meaningful, happy existence… or that people can rise above the negative stigma that has kept us all STUCK for so very long – another HUGE assumption.
I work so hard every day to show others that you don’t have to lie down and succumb to stigma. I work so hard every day to show others that mental illness is an OPPORTUNITY to grow and learn, and appreciate life in all its ups and downs. Your experiences can ENRICH your life and motivate you to become the best you can be.
The way I look at it is like this. You fall on one side of the fence or the other.
You either have an open mind and an open heart – allowing yourself to BELIEVE in the resilience of the human spirit and BELIEVE in our ability to grow and change and ultimately heal our past hurts or current challenges – given the right tools and the right support.
OR you can stay in the narrow minded view that people will mental health issues will always be more likely to lead mediocre lives, never reaching their full potential or achieving their hopes and dreams.
I know which side of the fence I land on. And I know there are people out there who feel the same.
Don’t be like this woman. Don’t assume things about me or other people with mental illness.
We might just surprise you.
Kate's Niche 