For me, having a serious mental illness like schizophrenia has meant that I have had to get over the huge hurdle of not caring what other people think about me. If I did care what people thought, and if I let their judgements affect my self-esteem and self-worth… I would still be back where I was when I was first diagnosed. I had no job, only 2 friends and basically nothing else in my life other than my immediate family. I was isolated, lonely and believed that having a normal happy life was completely out of reach for me. I certainly didn’t think I could achieve even a tiny bit of what I have actually achieved over these past 5 years or so.
Society tends to tell people with serious mental illness (schizophrenia in particular) that they are worth less than “normal” people. Society also tends to tell us that a person with a serious mental health diagnosis should not expect to live a particularly functional or happy life – and that they should reside themselves to the fact that they will probably have a mediocre existence, and depend on mental health services for the rest of their days. I was told by my GP many years ago to go on disability pension, because he made the assumption I would never be able to work again. This is wrong and it makes my blood boil. If I had believed him, that could have been the end for me.
I feel it is my mission in life to promote the idea that YES – PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS CAN LIVE AMAZING LIVES… no matter what your past may look like. I have schizophrenia – and I work in the field of mental health as an advocate and peer – I have written a book, I do public speaking about my experiences, and I have a life full of wonderful friendships, colleagues and intimate relationships. So don’t tell me it can’t happen!
The key for me, as it would be for anyone, was learning not to listen to the nay-Sayers. I had to learn to listen to my own inner voice… the voice that was almost inaudible back then, but still there beneath the surface, none the less. Once I decided that I was not going to let my “illness” dictate my future, there has been no stopping me. I, to this day still experience rejection because of my past, and I know that a lot of people I come across, judge me for being different. The wonderful gift that has come from all of this is I have realised who my real friends are… and that has been somewhat surprising at times. I am so grateful for the people in my life who accept me as I am… but really it’s the way we should all be.
People get scared of anything that is different; and they are quick to judge. I know this and I understand this because it has been my experience. Every day it is just so important to focus on your own priorities in life, and focus on your passions in life, which for me include helping others with mental illness. What anyone else thinks of me or what I do is their business… and it doesn’t even touch the sides anymore. Other peoples’ thoughts and opinions of me are irrelevant to me. As long as I know I am a good person, loyal, kind and compassionate…I sleep well at night.
So I urge other people with a mental health diagnosis, to really listen to themselves… listen to what you really want and what your hopes and dreams are… then do everything you can to move toward them. Don’t simply let the thoughts of other people in your life overwhelm you and make you feel less than you are. The only thing that having mental illness dictates… is the meaning it will add to your life and the richness it will add to your existence. After all, we have to know the darkness before we can appreciate the light.
Love Kate xx
Kate's Niche 